A Day in the Life of a Dog: A Dog’s Perspective
I so don’t want to get out of my warm, fluffy bed but my pet’s alarm clock keeps going off and it’s really starting to get annoying. I’m really not sure why she sets that thing anyways, I’m usually the one to wake her up. Not this morning though; I was exhausted from chasing my tail last night. I swear I will catch it one of these days!
Oh good, my pet finally shut that alarm off. Oops! I probably shouldn’t have left my bone beside her bed. She just made up a few new curse words I’ve never heard before. That had to hurt. I’m going to lay here for a few more minutes while my pet gets ready for the day. Plus, I want to wait for the toilet bowl to fill up a little bit so I can get my morning drink.
As my pet gets ready, my mind wanders. Why does she insist on bathing herself on her own? Having someone do it for you is so much more convenient. Also, why does she wear all of those clothes? I don’t wear any and I am perfectly comfortable. She did try putting me in this hideous sweater one time. I put up a fight until she eventually gave up. Could you imagine the ridicule I would have gotten at the dog park for wearing one of those things. Geez!
Now that my pet is finally done getting ready for the day, it’s time for our daily walk to the park! When we arrive, I immediately see my pals, Bailey and Marley. They’re with their pets, too. I walk over and sniff their butts to say “what’s up?” This is almost always folllowed up with a tap on the rear from my pet telling me to “cut it out.” She says it’s a good thing I have big ole puppy eyes. I have no idea what she is talking about since I am almost 42 years old and have not been a puppy for a long time!
My pet doesn’t seem to enjoy the park as much as I do. She usually just sits and stares at this small rectangular device that makes noise. Sometimes she even talks to it. Weirdo alert! I try to give her the ball to chew on instead, but she just throws it. Guess who has to go chase it? Me. I don’t know why she keeps trying to get rid of all of my perfectly good balls. It’s not like these things grow on trees!
On our way home, I spot the mailman. For whatever reason, he’s afraid of me. In my defense, I thought the Chewy box he was delivering was for me, not for the neighbors. Hump a guy’s leg once and he hates you forever. Can’t a dog catch a break?
Once we get home, I take a quick nap so that I’m wide awake to look out the window and bark at squirrels. There’s really no better way to pass the hours. Before I know it, it’s dinner time. My pet puts food in my bowl, but I’d rather sit next to her at the table and catch every last crumb that she drops on the floor. After dinner, she opens the door so I can go outside to handle my business. I notice it’s raining so I act like I don’t have to go anymore and just poop behind the couch. Problem solved.
I have to say, night time is the best time with my pet. We always snuggle together while she watches this really bright box that talks and I chew on my bone. A nice couch, a fluffy blanket, and my delicious bone is the perfect ending to my busy day. Oh how I love my pet!